Are you Obsessed with your Ex? Worse, Are you Obsessed with your Spouses Ex?
Do you have a character in your book who is obsessive, perhaps suffering from a personality disorder? Or maybe your character is just an insecure person? Perhaps we are discussing your evil villain?
We read articles every day about woman and men, unwilling to let go of their past; they hang on & cling to past relationships. I want to bring awareness to another type of obsession that is just as dangerous, unhealthy and destructive: Obsessed with your partner's ex.
With the advent of the Internet, law enforcement has been inundated with a new kind of bullying and stalking, Internet stalkers and cyber bullies have found an area where they feel safer, because of the illusion of anonymity. Teen bullying has been addressed in many recent blog post and we've all run across articles pertaining to the obsession of an ex, but law enforcement is now dealing with a widespread trend of stalkers whose target is someone the predator considers the competition. Woman (and men) are using social media and anonymity to stalk their partner's ex romantic interest.
With the advent of the Internet, law enforcement has been inundated with a new kind of bullying and stalking, Internet stalkers and cyber bullies have found an area where they feel safer, because of the illusion of anonymity. Teen bullying has been addressed in many recent blog post and we've all run across articles pertaining to the obsession of an ex, but law enforcement is now dealing with a widespread trend of stalkers whose target is someone the predator considers the competition. Woman (and men) are using social media and anonymity to stalk their partner's ex romantic interest.
10 Signs that you are obsessed with your partner's eX- romantic partner.
First of all, it is normal for humans to be somewhat curious about our partner's past relationships. We want to know what went wrong and it's also completely healthy & normal to occasionally wonder about the ex:
What does he or she look like? Are they prettier or more handsome than I am? When do you cross the line from normal and healthy curiosity to an obsessed, crazed, insecure stalker?
What does he or she look like? Are they prettier or more handsome than I am? When do you cross the line from normal and healthy curiosity to an obsessed, crazed, insecure stalker?
Read the list of warning signs. How many apply to you or your character? More than a few and you or your character might need to consider seeking help from a trained mental health professional.
1. You think about your partner's ex on a daily basis
2. You know as much or more about this person as his or her friends know
3. You stalk their social media pages: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Blogs etc.
4. You constantly ask you partner about his/her ex
5. You spend hours sifting through old photos of your partner and his/her ex (or just photos of the ex)
6. You pretend to be someone else and comment on his/her blog or website
7. Your obsession is causing problems in your own relationship
8. You conduct your Internet searches, comments, tweets, post, etc. in private or secretly
9. You comprise your own post, tweets, comments or Internet remarks with the object of your obsession in mind (you fantasize about their reaction)
10. You lie about your partner's ex and bash them publicly and/or on the Internet
If two or more of the above listed criteria, ring true, it's time you step back and take inventory of your life and your relationship. If you suffer low self esteem or have a low self image, you can work with a trained mental health professional to build your confidence.
If you recognize yourself in the above criteria and you do nothing then at a minimum you are looking at a short lived romance with your partner. Think about it: Does your obsession with his/her ex cause friction in your relationship ? Does it feel like a marriage/relationship of three? Is your partner inciting your obsessive behavior? Does he/she goad you? If that's the case, perhaps you're in an unhealthy relationship. However, if you have a loving and loyal partner and you still find yourself obsessed with his past, then you need to address the issue. If not, disaster is brewing.
Least case scenario: Your unhealthy obsession ruins what could have been happy and healthy romance
Worst case scenario: Your obsession & stalking will lead to a law suit and/or criminal charges
I will post letter Y, tonight and yippee ......tomorrow is letter Z
Let's make a final push, visit twice as manyA to Z blogging challenge post, today & tomorrow.
Let's make a final push, visit twice as manyA to Z blogging challenge post, today & tomorrow.