Flash Fiction: Revenge

The Third & Final Day of The I'm Hearing Voices Character Blogfest
I’m Hearing Voices
Hosted by Angie & Cassie.  Today's Challenge:
Emotion Flash Fiction: Emotion is the engine of a story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it! We want to connect with your character.


Revenge:




His face contorted in agony.  He'd just come to, handcuffed to a dog cage.      His eyes bulged in terror-his wife was tied to the sofa.




"Feel like you've been drop kicked in the gut?"  I asked, but he couldn't answer.  The panicked eyes spoke for him.

     "I'll give you one chance to live."

His brow scrunched and the lines on his forehead formed a V.  What did she see in him?

     "I'll do anything... you want." His voice edged with fear.  Coward. I figured his first words: please don't hurt my wife.

I untied her while pulling the gun from my waistband.  The tough guy pissed himself.  I was parched.

     "Get me something to drink, honey.  Try anything he's dead."  I watched her from the corner of my eye while I held the .38 special on the asshole in the cage.



     "We can work this out. I won't report it."  He whined.


I took another sip of the dark ale from the icy mug  she still knew exactly what I like to drink . I was hot.  Another swig, I felt weak.  He rattled the cage and I shot him.  The thunderous explosion in my head was my ex- wife clapping.  Was I hallucinating?




I felt queasy. I stumbled back.
     "You killed him. Thank you."

     "What?"  The beer fell from my hand.

     "For killing him. I am free from both of you."

     "I''m confused."  

     "I know. It's the poison.

     "What poison?"

     "That I was going to kill my husband with."




The End!  250 Words.













19 comments:

Melissa Sugar said...

Awesome twist at the end. And great emotional description through out. I could really feel the fear and tension.

Melissa Sugar said...

Wow! complete short story  in itself.  Great job, plenty of tension leading to a great surprise ending - and I loved the illustrations which really added to the story!

Melissa Sugar said...

Well, he got his!

Melissa Sugar said...

I also like the twist at the end. Good job!

Melissa Sugar said...

Whoa! That's a crazy twist! Great writing and I agree. The pictures were a nice touch.

Melissa Sugar said...

I loved it.  Dark, creepy, & clever.

Melissa Sugar said...

I love a great twist, and this was a great twist! And very nice writing Melissa. Fab job!

Melissa Sugar said...

What a great piece, with an excellent twist! Great job!

Melissa Sugar said...

Talk about excellent! That's flash fiction at its finest. A whole story in 250 words. I'm impressed. 

Melissa Sugar said...

Great flash fiction. Women always make sure we do it with the least amount of mess. :) 

Melissa Sugar said...

Man! She was deceiving! I can't imagine who the ex didn't know that!

Melissa Sugar said...

Whoa! Nice twist at the end. Full of action. Curious about what happens before all this.

Melissa Sugar said...

Very nice twist :-)

Melissa Sugar said...

Wow, nice twist. I didn't see that one coming. Why did she want to kill them both, I wonder?  There is an award over at my blog for you. :)

Melissa Sugar said...

Wow, nice twist. I didn't see that one coming. Why did she want to kill them both, I wonder?  There is an award over at my blog for you. :)

Melissa Sugar said...

Whoa, that was intense!! I didn't expect her to want them both dead! I wish I knew more of the story!!

Melissa Sugar said...

Oh man! No way! This is awesome. I loved it to begin with, but the twist at the end is spectacular! Rock on to the woman!

Melissa Sugar said...

This was an edge of your seat kind of story!  I really enjoyed the surprise ending!

Melissa Sugar said...

Great twist! I think the ending is perfect. Your style of writing is fun to read!

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