Flash Fiction: Revenge

The Third & Final Day of The I'm Hearing Voices Character Blogfest
I’m Hearing Voices
Hosted by Angie & Cassie.  Today's Challenge:
Emotion Flash Fiction: Emotion is the engine of a story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it! We want to connect with your character.


His face contorted in agony.  He'd just come to, handcuffed to a dog cage.      His eyes bulged in terror-his wife was tied to the sofa.

"Feel like you've been drop kicked in the gut?"  I asked, but he couldn't answer.  The panicked eyes spoke for him.

     "I'll give you one chance to live."

His brow scrunched and the lines on his forehead formed a V.  What did she see in him?

     "I'll do anything... you want." His voice edged with fear.  Coward. I figured his first words: please don't hurt my wife.

I untied her while pulling the gun from my waistband.  The tough guy pissed himself.  I was parched.

     "Get me something to drink, honey.  Try anything he's dead."  I watched her from the corner of my eye while I held the .38 special on the asshole in the cage.

     "We can work this out. I won't report it."  He whined.

I took another sip of the dark ale from the icy mug  she still knew exactly what I like to drink . I was hot.  Another swig, I felt weak.  He rattled the cage and I shot him.  The thunderous explosion in my head was my ex- wife clapping.  Was I hallucinating?

I felt queasy. I stumbled back.
     "You killed him. Thank you."

     "What?"  The beer fell from my hand.

     "For killing him. I am free from both of you."

     "I''m confused."  

     "I know. It's the poison.

     "What poison?"

     "That I was going to kill my husband with."

The End!  250 Words.


  1. Awesome twist at the end. And great emotional description through out. I could really feel the fear and tension.

  2. Wow! complete short story  in itself.  Great job, plenty of tension leading to a great surprise ending - and I loved the illustrations which really added to the story!

  3. I also like the twist at the end. Good job!

  4. Whoa! That's a crazy twist! Great writing and I agree. The pictures were a nice touch.

  5. I loved it.  Dark, creepy, & clever.

  6. I love a great twist, and this was a great twist! And very nice writing Melissa. Fab job!

  7. What a great piece, with an excellent twist! Great job!

  8. Talk about excellent! That's flash fiction at its finest. A whole story in 250 words. I'm impressed. 

  9. Great flash fiction. Women always make sure we do it with the least amount of mess. :) 

  10. Man! She was deceiving! I can't imagine who the ex didn't know that!

  11. Whoa! Nice twist at the end. Full of action. Curious about what happens before all this.

  12. Wow, nice twist. I didn't see that one coming. Why did she want to kill them both, I wonder?  There is an award over at my blog for you. :)

  13. Wow, nice twist. I didn't see that one coming. Why did she want to kill them both, I wonder?  There is an award over at my blog for you. :)

  14. Whoa, that was intense!! I didn't expect her to want them both dead! I wish I knew more of the story!!

  15. Oh man! No way! This is awesome. I loved it to begin with, but the twist at the end is spectacular! Rock on to the woman!

  16. This was an edge of your seat kind of story!  I really enjoyed the surprise ending!

  17. Great twist! I think the ending is perfect. Your style of writing is fun to read!


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