The Third & Final Day of The I'm Hearing Voices Character Blogfest
Hosted by Angie & Cassie. Today's Challenge:
Emotion Flash Fiction: Emotion is the engine of a story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it! We want to connect with your character.
Revenge:
I felt queasy. I stumbled back.
Emotion Flash Fiction: Emotion is the engine of a story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it! We want to connect with your character.
Revenge:
His face contorted
in agony. He'd just come to, handcuffed to a dog cage. His
eyes bulged in terror-his wife was tied to the sofa.
"Feel like
you've been drop kicked in the gut?" I asked, but he
couldn't answer. The panicked eyes spoke for him.
"I'll
give you one chance to live."
His brow scrunched and the lines on his forehead formed a V. What
did she see in him?
"I'll
do anything... you want." His voice edged with fear. Coward.
I figured his first words: please
don't hurt my wife.
I untied her while
pulling the gun from my waistband. The tough guy pissed
himself. I was parched.
"Get
me something to drink, honey. Try anything he's dead." I
watched her from the corner of my eye while I held the .38 special
on the asshole in the cage.
"We
can work this out. I won't report it." He whined.
I took another sip
of the dark ale from the icy mug she still knew exactly what
I like to drink . I was hot. Another swig, I felt
weak. He rattled the cage and I shot him. The thunderous
explosion in my head was my ex- wife clapping. Was I hallucinating?
I felt queasy. I stumbled back.
"You
killed him. Thank you."
"What?"
The beer fell from my hand.
"For
killing him. I am free from both of you."
"I''m
confused."
"I
know. It's the poison.
"What
poison?"
"That
I was going to kill my husband with."
The End! 250 Words.
Awesome twist at the end. And great emotional description through out. I could really feel the fear and tension.
ReplyDeleteWow! complete short story in itself. Great job, plenty of tension leading to a great surprise ending - and I loved the illustrations which really added to the story!
ReplyDeleteWell, he got his!
ReplyDeleteI also like the twist at the end. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWhoa! That's a crazy twist! Great writing and I agree. The pictures were a nice touch.
ReplyDeleteI loved it. Dark, creepy, & clever.
ReplyDeleteI love a great twist, and this was a great twist! And very nice writing Melissa. Fab job!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great piece, with an excellent twist! Great job!
ReplyDeleteTalk about excellent! That's flash fiction at its finest. A whole story in 250 words. I'm impressed.
ReplyDeleteGreat flash fiction. Women always make sure we do it with the least amount of mess. :)
ReplyDeleteMan! She was deceiving! I can't imagine who the ex didn't know that!
ReplyDeleteWhoa! Nice twist at the end. Full of action. Curious about what happens before all this.
ReplyDeleteVery nice twist :-)
ReplyDeleteWow, nice twist. I didn't see that one coming. Why did she want to kill them both, I wonder? There is an award over at my blog for you. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, nice twist. I didn't see that one coming. Why did she want to kill them both, I wonder? There is an award over at my blog for you. :)
ReplyDeleteWhoa, that was intense!! I didn't expect her to want them both dead! I wish I knew more of the story!!
ReplyDeleteOh man! No way! This is awesome. I loved it to begin with, but the twist at the end is spectacular! Rock on to the woman!
ReplyDeleteThis was an edge of your seat kind of story! I really enjoyed the surprise ending!
ReplyDeleteGreat twist! I think the ending is perfect. Your style of writing is fun to read!
ReplyDelete