It's That Time Again: The Insecure Writer's Support Group
And it's a brand new year.
Insecure Writer's Support Group is the brainchild of the wonderful Alex Cavanaugh
I'm entering 2016 with positive thoughts, but I'm still feeling insecure ... hey aren't we all. I know I've been MIA on this blog for quite a while. It began during NaNo, which I was ready to chalk up as a NaNo fail, until a light bulb went off and salvaged a prior manuscript, but that's another story. Then the Christmas holidays crept up on me like an ill-timed tormentor. No, I don't sound very cheerful and with good reason. Our family didn't celebrate the holidays this year. My dad was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room on the morning or our annual family Christmas party. We host our party at my parents, with all the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., a couple of days before Christmas. With our extended family and a few friends this festive event always brings in well over 100 guests and is the highlight of our holiday season. My dad is still in the hospital, hanging in there, so we have yet to celebrate.
Back to my insecure post. For personal, family and career reasons, I may need to take a social media hiatus. I've taken quite a few breaks from blogging over the years, but I've always stayed in touch with most of you via Twitter, FB or other forms of social media. I'm afraid that if I am serious about tending to some serious issues that are important to my family and me while maintaining time to continue writing, I'm going to have to make changes. I have to prioritize. My family and I have debated these issues and nothing is set in stone, but until I know whether or not my husband's health will permit him to continue practicing law, I'm likely won't be around very much. I will still read your blog post and tweets as often as I can, I just won't be able to interact the way I once did. I will miss the connections I've made. This is only a temporary situation and I hope you will all welcome me back when I can come back.
I'm hoping it won't come to a full blown disappearance, but I don't want to overextend myself anymore than I have and I need to concentrate on my family.
My mom nearly died last year. My dad is elderly and I don't know how long we have with him. I have an aunt, actually she has always been my favorite aunt ... she and I didn't speak to each other for years. I mean it ... years. It was my fault. Something I said, then something I did. But, it's weighed heavily on me for a long time. When my dad first entered the hospital, her son, my cousin and his wife were welcoming their second baby. The ER was placed on lock down for a couple of hours and we were all required to remain in the ER treating room with my dad. Once the lock down lifted, my aunt hugged me and told me she loved me. I can't tell you how good that felt. Even during the stress of my father's dire condition, my mom noticed a difference in my entire appearance, attitude, mood and demeanor. Later that day, my cousin walked up to me on his way to get the car to take his wife and baby home and I got another unexpected hug.
You know what I learned that day? I didn't really learn it because I already knew it, but it was so vividly reinforced. Life is short. Life is precious. My father, elderly and sick gasping for breath in the emergency room. My cousin and his wife welcoming another addition to their beautiful family of four (he has a daughter that she has pretty much raised and she has an older son). The circle of life was right in front of me and I vowed right then to treasure it. I promised myself to take care of myself and those I love and to go out of my way to make sure that they know I love them. I will never let years pass with unresolved conflict. It's not worth it. Family is the most important thing in this world. Cherish your family.
Happy New Year!